Yes, I do, I believe
That one day I will be where I was
Right there, right next to you
And it's hard, the days just seem so dark
The moon, the stars are nothing without you
Your touch, your skin,
Where do I begin?
No words can explain the way I’m missing you
Deny this emptiness, this hole that I’m inside
These tears, they tell their own story
You told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling’s overwhelming, it's much too strong
Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright?
I’ll take care of you,
And I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight
I’m reaching out to you
Can you hear my call? (who's to say you won't hear me?)
This hurt that I’ve been through
I’m missing you, missing you like crazy
You told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling’s overwhelming, it's much too strong
Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright?
I’ll take care of you
And I don’t wanna be here if I can’t be with you tonight
Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side
Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side
Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
-Lay Me Down by Sam Smith
0 Comments
Tonight has been an eye-opening night for me. My parents are most-likely going to get a divorce. I uh.. Am out of words. I know that it is probably for the better or atleast I really hope it to be. But, what happens to making it work? Isn't that what marriage is all about? Loving the person you're married to? Through thin and think? Health and sick? Rich or poor? Maybe I haven't value moments and time enough. And soon enough I won't come home to see my dad sitting on the sofa like he always do or coming home seeing my mom sitting next to my dad watching the TV? And I can't look forward to those sunday out with both my parents going to malls, shopping and having dinner? Or listening to them arguing about something unnecessary? Will I really lose all of that? Am I not going to see them smile and laughing to eachother? Joking around and simply just being together? I am scared. This is terrifying. Mom.. Dad.. Is it really over for both of you? Is it really 'the time'? I always thought that maybe this day would come. But, I always wish it wouldn't. Is it too selfish wanting both my parents to stay together? I am sorry. I just really don't know how to accept it or trying to get it through my brain and forcing myself to believe it's for the best. I love you Dad and Mom. I wish you guys knew how much I really wish you guys can work it out. You heard my stories but you've never walk a mile in my shoes. Don't even bother judging my life. I love you. These three simple yet very powerful words have never left my mind. I have this one special person in my mind and I can't seem to get that special person off my mind. A lot of other people throw "I Love You" to other people easily. I mean I don't have a problem with that at all. But, for me, "I Love You" means a lot. I take it seriously and I guess I'm still in love with this one person. So, I love you ...
"I Miss You" doesn't begin to cover how much I've missed your presence. "I Love you" doesn't begin to cover how deep my feelings for you. This may sound silly, but until we meet again, I'll hold on to those words, for you and I. The worst part of having the most beautiful dream is to wake up. One key to success is to never feel satisfied. There is always someone or something better out there. Keep on learning and work hard because not everyone is going to push you into being a better person. Only youself can make you the better version of yourself. Don't ever give up on your dreams because in reality, the road to success is no straight line. It is a bumpy road ahead of you. Make it happen yourself :) What do you miss the most? Being able to hold you close to me <3 Here i am sitting down inside of my car. I'm not sure where this writing is going but i'll tell u one thing. I feel weird. Im not sure how to explain it. I feel numb and somewhere inside me, I feel super down. I mean im not complaining on how life treats me at the moment. In fact, im grateful of living. Im proud of all the accomplishments i have accomplished so far. But, i dont know why, i feel empty. I dont know why. My heart aches when i see those long messages in my email disscussing things related to studying in Netherlands. Im sick and tired of how i am able to accomplish so much but not able to take those chances. It is pitiful to be in this state. I hate it. I wish i wasn't so down. But maybe, just maybe. There's something better waiting for me up ahead. Maybe, just maybe. I was meant to sit in this car ride right now. Maybe, just maybe. I was meant to stay in Jakarta for university from the very begining. I guess it is enough blabblering for the night. See you soon.
I spend most of my time thinking, overthinking to be exact.
If you ask me, what are you thinking? What did you think about? What’s on your mind? God, I’m not complaining but there are a lot of things that I think about. I sometimes even think it’s not that important and why do I spend so much time thinking? First of all, I think of all the “what ifs” in life. Have you ever sat in front of your mirror staring at yourself thinking “what did I do?” or have you ever laid on your bed, facing the ceiling and ask yourself “what would happen if I do this?” or have you ever spent the longest shower thinking “would it make any difference?” Well, I have. Tons of time. All of those questions, I ask myself everyday. It took me in a deeper situation. I started to think of all the things I did in my life. I started to miss literally, EVERYTHING. You might think, what’s the point of doing that? Well, you get to remember how happy life could be. How blessed you are with the things that you have now. You get to remember all the bad things you did and gain lessons from the consequences you get. You get to understand why things didn’t end up the way you wanted it to be. You get to remember how miserable life could be. It’s true because life messes you up every time. BUT, it doesn’t mean that life is all bad. That’s just how life gives you lesson. When you dare to do something, always remember, there are always consequences. When that happens, accept it and try to live with it. It’s always good to try something new. Do it while you can, you’re young, and I am young. Overthinking got me thinking of all people who gave impacts to my life. Both negative and positive. Let’s start with negative. Mostly, it is those people who hated me, who hurt me, who I had arguments with, or people who I hated or hate. But, I think again. Would my life be different if I didn’t meet them? And the answer is, yes. But then, I wouldn’t want my life to be different. I love how my life turns out. Those people taught me how to be strong and maybe even how to be wise. It brings us to the other thought, positive. Oh my, I can’t thank you enough to those who make my life so precious. Those people taught me how to be grateful. They are the biggest support in my life. I can always count on them. They are the treasure I will cherish for the rest of my life. Sounds cheesy but it’s true. Well, I guess this is being ME. So, repeat. |